What Is A Weak Construction In Writing?

What Is A Weak Construction In Writing
To Be Inging, There Was Passive Vagueness – Okay, that nonsense subhead was fun to write. I admit it. Let’s watch its parts in action: BEFORE: The ramshackle mansion was being built on a hilltop. In the trees birds were singing and the leaves were rustling under a sky that was sunny and clouds that were puffy and white.

Nails were hammered sharply into boards while bricks were laid. It was a beautiful, pristine day. The work was coming along. Filling the air, the sounds of construction were encouraging. Laying aside his tool, the workers were waiting for him. AFTER: Garth stood on the hilltop, arms folded, gazing on the workers and the ramshackle mansion rising at their hands.

The striking, churning, buzzing, scraping sounds of construction drowned out the songs of birds in the trees. Dark-skinned slaves hammered nails into boards and laid bricks one by one as the sun shone down on them from a pristine blue sky. He laid aside his hammer, encouraged by their progress.

Overuse of “be” verbs (be, being, been, is, am, are, was, and were) Overuse of the past progressive (aka past continuous) tense—the “ing” verbs Overuse of the passive voice Vague descriptors

I use the word overuse when addressing these problems because “be” verbs, past progressive, and passive voice all have their place in our writing. Artists will use all shades, not only primary colors. But overuse—or just plain bad use—of any of these is death on vivid storytelling.

Be verbs. The eight forms of the verb “be”—otherwise known as state-of-being verbs—are useful, necessary little words without which English would hardly function. It’s a great mistake to try to excise them from our writing vocabularies completely. (And contrary to popular editorial legend, the use of a “be” verb does not automatically constitute passive voice.) In storytelling, however, the state-of-being verbs can be a problem because they do just that: they state being.

They do not show action. They do not move, or act, or really describe. They are just there. And nine times out of ten, they can be replaced by a stronger verb. So rather than, “She was at home,” you might try “She waited at home,” or “She stayed at home,” or “She twiddled her thumbs at home, wishing with all her might that she were somewhere else.” A “sky that was sunny” becomes “a sunny sky,” and “clouds that were puffy” become “puffy clouds.” “There was a man on the hill” becomes “A man stood on the hill.” Word count drops, rhythm improves, and images grow vivid.

The “be” verbs also act as helpers for past progressive verbs. Rather than simply stating that an action happened, a past progressive (or past continuous) verb traces its action—it shows that is “is happening.” So we get “was being,” “were singing,” “were rustling,” “was coming,” “were encouraging, “were waiting.” At times you may want to stress the continuation of an action.

In that case past progressive is fine. But normally, the simple past form of the verb will be more effective: sang, rustled, came, encouraged, waited. “Was being” is completely replaced by wording that SHOWS the mansion being built. The forms of “be” show up again in the use of passive voice.

  • This is actually the biggest problem with the “Before” paragraph, far outweighing the others.
  • Reading it, you might wonder, “Who the heck are these people? There’s no one in this scene!” The mansion might be raised by phantoms, for all we can see: The ramshackle mansion was being built,
  • By whom? Nails were hammered sharply into boards,

by whom? Bricks were laid, by whom? Who was encouraged by the sounds of construction? Who lays aside his hammer? There isn’t a single actor in the whole paragraph; instead, every noun is acted upon. That is the difference between passive and active voice.

  • Even passive voice has its place in fiction: it’s quite effective, for example, to create surrealism or suggest shock.
  • But active voice acts, and that makes it by far the stronger mode of construction.
  • The “After” paragraph has people, real characters, doing real things.
  • Which brings us, finally, to the problem of vagueness.
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Passive voice and state-of-being verbs contribute to making a scene vague; so does past progressive with its tendency to suggest that nothing is ever really finished or going anywhere definite. But here nouns, adjectives, and adverbs all come into play as well: The more general the wording, the less vivid it will be.

In the “After” paragraph, therefore, we have Garth, a man with a name; we have dark-skinned slaves, a hammer, sounds that are not just “sounds of construction” but that buzz, scrape, churn, strike, and drown out other sounds.Strong verbs, active voice, concrete nouns and modifiers: all make for scenes that move, that are vivid, that create stories out of sentences and invite us in.Your turn:

Has this post given you a better sense of how to construct active, effective sentences? Has it changed your understanding of “passive voice” or helped you understand how these sentence constructions might be used to “shade” a scene rather than as its primary colors? Can you identify weak verbs, vague descriptors, or poor choices of tense in your own writing? : Building Blocks: Avoiding Weak Sentence Construction

Does weak writing Make you a bad writer?

Recognizing Weak Writing: Modifiers – One common issue is the tendency to misuse modifiers. Consider the following example: “There was absolutely nothing he could do.” Now, in this case, the adverb in this sentence (“absolutely”) is unnecessary. Why? Because “nothing” is an absolute.

  • If there’s SOMETHING your character can do, then there’s NOT nothing he can do.
  • In this case, you would be better off getting rid of the adverb: “There was nothing he could do”.
  • You’ll notice how the sentence communicates the same idea – we can still understand the phrase even though we’ve removed a word.

This is, in general, a good way to edit your work. If removing a word leaves the text unchanged, then that word was useless from the get-go. The same cannot be said for other words in the example: “There nothing he could do”

  • “Was nothing he could do”
  • “There was he could do”
  • etc.

As you can see, the modifier added nothing to the phrase and its removal does not affect the phrase. So, it is better to remove the modifier. Let’s look at a different example. “Nothing” is an absolute, so what happens when what we’re modifying is something other than an absolute? “The bartender was really busy on Saturday night”.

In this instance, maybe you want to communicate that the bartender is busier than usual. Maybe she was busy on Friday night, but come Saturday night, she was busier than she was on Friday. In this case, the modifier is serving to illustrate a comparison between Friday and Saturday. Does it work? Yes. We’re not interested in whether or not it works, however; we’re interested in strong writing.

This example is weak.

  1. Why?
  2. In this case, the word ‘really’ is serving as a weak replacement for strong writing. Consider this better example:
  3. “The bartender was so busy on Saturday night, she felt like every time she delivered a drink to a customer, two more customers appeared.”

Now your reader is able to empathize with the bartender. Your reader sees that she’s feeling overwhelmed. It’s important to note that both of these examples could be considered weak and that the same information could be conveyed using contextual clues (for more on Context, see: “”).

  • For example, earlier in the story, you could have something like: “Melissa looked at the clock and then at her bar.
  • There were only a couple of people seated in front of her.
  • She shrugged and went back to doodling on her napkin.” And then you have something like: “Melissa caught a fleeting glimpse of the clock.
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Was it only nine? The crowd at the bar was growing. There were at least half a dozen people waiting to be served, and another dozen had just come down the stairs”. Using context, we can illustrate the difference between the two nights. On the first, business is so slow that Melissa is able to doodle on napkins.

  • On the second, she’s so busy that even a small action (looking at the clock) is difficult.
  • It’s interesting to note that you often see modifiers being overused by writers looking to pump up their word count.
  • As you’ll notice, adverbs are useless even in this regard—they DO pump up the word count, but they do so in a minimal way.

Again, compare: “The bartender was really busy” “The bartender was so busy on Saturday night, she felt like every time she delivered a drink to a customer, two more customers appeared.” The adverb only adds one word to the phrase (5 words). By getting rid of the adverb and finding a more effective way to communicate “busy”, the word count increases (24).

  1. The point? Look at your own work.
  2. Do you have a lot of words that end in -ly? If so, there may be a better way to write the sentence to communicate your message with greater clarity.
  3. NOTE: There is an exception to this rule when it comes to dialogue.
  4. Sometimes you WANT characters using adverbs because it helps to illustrate their character and their state of mind.

Applying the technicalities of good writing to dialogue can result in your characters sounding robotic and give them a feeling of “sameness”. Finding a lot of adverbs in your work? Ax them to improve the overall quality of your writing.

What is an example of a weak replacement for strong writing?

Recognizing Weak Writing: Modifiers – One common issue is the tendency to misuse modifiers. Consider the following example: “There was absolutely nothing he could do.” Now, in this case, the adverb in this sentence (“absolutely”) is unnecessary. Why? Because “nothing” is an absolute.

If there’s SOMETHING your character can do, then there’s NOT nothing he can do. In this case, you would be better off getting rid of the adverb: “There was nothing he could do”. You’ll notice how the sentence communicates the same idea – we can still understand the phrase even though we’ve removed a word.

This is, in general, a good way to edit your work. If removing a word leaves the text unchanged, then that word was useless from the get-go. The same cannot be said for other words in the example: “There nothing he could do”

  • “Was nothing he could do”
  • “There was he could do”
  • etc.

As you can see, the modifier added nothing to the phrase and its removal does not affect the phrase. So, it is better to remove the modifier. Let’s look at a different example. “Nothing” is an absolute, so what happens when what we’re modifying is something other than an absolute? “The bartender was really busy on Saturday night”.

In this instance, maybe you want to communicate that the bartender is busier than usual. Maybe she was busy on Friday night, but come Saturday night, she was busier than she was on Friday. In this case, the modifier is serving to illustrate a comparison between Friday and Saturday. Does it work? Yes. We’re not interested in whether or not it works, however; we’re interested in strong writing.

This example is weak.

  1. Why?
  2. In this case, the word ‘really’ is serving as a weak replacement for strong writing. Consider this better example:
  3. “The bartender was so busy on Saturday night, she felt like every time she delivered a drink to a customer, two more customers appeared.”
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Now your reader is able to empathize with the bartender. Your reader sees that she’s feeling overwhelmed. It’s important to note that both of these examples could be considered weak and that the same information could be conveyed using contextual clues (for more on Context, see: “”).

For example, earlier in the story, you could have something like: “Melissa looked at the clock and then at her bar. There were only a couple of people seated in front of her. She shrugged and went back to doodling on her napkin.” And then you have something like: “Melissa caught a fleeting glimpse of the clock.

Was it only nine? The crowd at the bar was growing. There were at least half a dozen people waiting to be served, and another dozen had just come down the stairs”. Using context, we can illustrate the difference between the two nights. On the first, business is so slow that Melissa is able to doodle on napkins.

On the second, she’s so busy that even a small action (looking at the clock) is difficult. It’s interesting to note that you often see modifiers being overused by writers looking to pump up their word count. As you’ll notice, adverbs are useless even in this regard—they DO pump up the word count, but they do so in a minimal way.

Again, compare: “The bartender was really busy” “The bartender was so busy on Saturday night, she felt like every time she delivered a drink to a customer, two more customers appeared.” The adverb only adds one word to the phrase (5 words). By getting rid of the adverb and finding a more effective way to communicate “busy”, the word count increases (24).

The point? Look at your own work. Do you have a lot of words that end in -ly? If so, there may be a better way to write the sentence to communicate your message with greater clarity. NOTE: There is an exception to this rule when it comes to dialogue. Sometimes you WANT characters using adverbs because it helps to illustrate their character and their state of mind.

Applying the technicalities of good writing to dialogue can result in your characters sounding robotic and give them a feeling of “sameness”. Finding a lot of adverbs in your work? Ax them to improve the overall quality of your writing.

How do you remove weak verbs from a sentence?

Weak Verbs – The verbs “to be” and “to have” are ​ weak verbs ​ because they take no action. When your verb does not do anything, it leaves your readers having to work harder to determine your meaning. Examples of phrases to eliminate from your work include “this has,” “there is,” “there are” and “it was.” One way to eliminate ​ weak verbs ​ from your writing is to reread your work and circle every “to be” verb.

Is there a strong enough adverb to save a weak noun?

Strong Verbs – As you write, focus first on your nouns and verbs instead of using adjectives and adverbs. There is not a ​ strong ​ enough adverb to save a weak or inaccurate noun. ​ Solid verb choices ​ are what give good writing its color and precise language.